A few things that I implemented or changed in the early months of sobriety.
Believing in Myself
For a long time I didn’t think I’d ever be able to get sober. I tried So.Many. Times. When I finally started believing I could do it, switching my mindset from I can’t get sober to I am sober, that’s when I began to see a change. That’s when I started stacking days and weeks and the confidence grew from there. I was so deep in my addiction, that I truly didn’t see a time in my future that alcohol would be non-existent. Let me tell you, if I can do it, you can too.
What has helped:
Gaining confidence in the situation and having to experience all the firsts. WHEN I WAS READY. (This is key) I will not sugar coat this. Early Sobriety is hard. The first time you go to dinner and don’t order a drink, the first girls night, even the first date night. I had anxiety going into all of these. The only way to build more confidence in yourself and have a chance at enjoying these things moving forward is to get through them. Prove to yourself that you can do it. You may surprise yourself when you see that you can actually enjoy your time without alcohol. You will find your groove, you will prove to yourself that you can do it and propel that belief in yourself.
Caring for Myself
The amount of walks I took. The me time I needed, and the lifestyle changes I implemented were so important. I needed to get sober, but my body also needed to heal. I started working out harder and I started eating cleaner. That made me feel good. I was actually nourishing my body instead of poisoning it for the first time in a long time. I think self-care looks so different for everyone. So, whatever makes you feel good, do that.
What Has Helped:
I struggled with the concept of me time and self-care in early sobriety. I had put those that loved me through hell, so the thought of now needing to take more time away for myself made me feel bad (I am a people pleaser Afterall). Ignore this voice. Schedule the time and do the thing. If you have a partner, explain what you will be doing and how long you need and compromise. My walks recharged me. Getting some time alone before bed to wind down and relax gave me something to look forward to at the end of the night. No matter what this looks like for you, advocate for this step in the process, it made so much difference in my recovery.
Distancing Myself
There were so many places/situations/people that associated drinking with. – Memories triggered so many cravings for me in early sobriety and the only way I could get through those cravings was to not put myself in the situations in the first place. I needed to take some time away from my normal life to create a new one. I spent a lot of time at home away from what I had know and it was in those times that I healed the most physically and mentally.
Remember in the first point where I said you have to experience situations so you can gain confidence? Here was the caveat…do it when you feel ready. This will likely not be right away. Give yourself time to heal and stay away from some of those situations until you have some time or confidence built up.
What Has Helped:
Creating morning and nighttime routines that I stick with no matter what. I look forward to these times and they are my non negotiables. Finding things that make me happy and bring some joy, especially in those times when I would be used to going out and doing something. I watch Bravo TV on a lot of Friday and Saturday nights, I take baths, I do a face mask. These are things that make me happy and not throw a pity party. I also have to play the tape forward a lot and think about how when I am choosing to not drink and choosing to not go to things that may trigger me to drink, what will my tomorrow look like – it will be so much better than lying in bed with a hangover or regret or anxiety.