One question that I get all the time is, “How much were you drinking?” And the answer is: A LOT. I could buy a bottle of vodka on Friday, and it would be gone by Saturday afternoon. Then I would wrap up my weekend and “take it slow” with a few bottles of wine. I think when people ask this question, they’re searching for a baseline, something to compare their own drinking to. If they aren’t as bad as I was, then maybe they think they don’t have a problem. They can justify their drinking a little longer.

Here’s the thing: there’s always a second part to my answer. Don’t compare your drinking to my drinking. You don’t need to be where I was to consider quitting or choosing a sober, alcohol-free life. The quantity doesn’t matter. I wasn’t always drinking a bottle of vodka and then some in a few days’ time. It started off as just a few glasses of wine on a Friday or Saturday night. If you are questioning your drinking already and looking for justifications, it’s probably time to take a good, hard look at your relationship with alcohol.

There Is No Magic Number

There is no magical number that qualifies you as having an alcohol problem. You don’t have to hit a certain number of drinks to decide that sobriety might be a better path for you. We often look for markers in others’ experiences to validate our own behavior. “Oh, I’m not that bad,” you might think. “I only drink a bottle of wine over the weekend.” But here’s the reality: it’s not about how much you’re drinking; it’s about how it’s affecting your life.

Alcoholism and problematic drinking don’t have a universal measuring stick. They don’t look the same for everyone. You might be a daily drinker who can’t imagine going a single evening without a glass (or two, or three) of wine. Or you might be a binge drinker who can go weeks without a sip, but once you start, you can’t stop. The common thread isn’t how much you drink or how often; it’s the impact that alcohol has on your life, your relationships, and your well-being.

How to Assess Your Relationship with Alcohol

If you’re wondering whether your drinking is a problem, here are some questions to consider:

1. Do you use alcohol to cope with stress, anxiety, or emotions? If you find yourself reaching for a drink whenever you’re stressed, upset, or overwhelmed, it might be a sign that alcohol is becoming a crutch rather than just an occasional indulgence.
2. Do you plan your activities around drinking? If your social life revolves around alcohol or you find yourself avoiding events where drinking isn’t involved, it could be time to rethink your relationship with alcohol.
3. Have you tried to cut back and found it difficult? If you’ve attempted to moderate your drinking but struggled to stick to your limits, that’s a sign that alcohol might have more control over you than you’d like.
4. Do you experience regret or guilt about your drinking? If you often wake up regretting the night before or feel guilty about how much you drank, it’s worth examining why you continue to drink.
5. Has alcohol affected your relationships, job, or daily responsibilities? If drinking is causing issues in your relationships, affecting your job performance, or interfering with your daily responsibilities, it’s a strong indicator that alcohol is more of a problem than a pleasure.

Preparing to Cut Back and Embrace an Alcohol-Free Life

Deciding to quit or cut back on drinking can feel daunting, but preparation can make the process smoother. Here are some steps you can take to set yourself up for success in your journey toward sobriety:

1. Educate Yourself: Learn about alcohol use disorder, the effects of alcohol on the body and mind, and what to expect when you stop drinking. Knowledge can be empowering and help you understand that what you’re feeling is normal.
   • This Naked Mind is a great resource – get it here
2. Set Clear Goals: Decide if you want to quit entirely or just cut back. Set specific, measurable goals. You might aim to go alcohol-free for 30 days or limit yourself to drinking only on certain occasions.
3. Remove Temptations: Clear your home of alcohol. If you don’t have easy access to it, you’ll be less likely to reach for a drink when cravings hit.
4. Seek Support: Tell a trusted friend, family member, or support group about your decision to quit. Having a support system can make a huge difference.
5. Prepare for Withdrawal Symptoms: If you have been drinking heavily, be aware that you might experience withdrawal symptoms such as anxiety, irritability, insomnia, or physical symptoms like sweating and nausea. In severe cases, withdrawal can be dangerous, so consult a healthcare professional before quitting if you have been a heavy drinker.
6. Find Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Identify activities that can replace drinking and help you cope with stress, such as exercise, meditation, journaling, or picking up a new hobby.
   • One of my favorite journals to track your progress is linked here
   • Here are a few blog other posts that may help, too
     • Why Exercise is Essential in Sobriety and How to Implement it
     • embracing Journaling in your Alcohol – Free life

What to Expect When You Quit

The journey to sobriety and an alcohol-free lifestyle is different for everyone, but here are some common experiences you might encounter:

1. Initial Cravings: In the first days and weeks, cravings can be intense. It’s crucial to have strategies in place, like distraction techniques or a list of supportive contacts you can reach out to.
2. Mood Swings and Irritability: Alcohol impacts the brain’s chemistry, so you might experience mood swings, irritability, or feelings of anxiety and depression as your body adjusts to life without alcohol.
3. Improved Physical Health: Over time, you may notice improvements in your physical health, such as better sleep, increased energy, and a clearer mind.
4. Emotional Rollercoaster: Sobriety can bring up emotions that you’ve been numbing with alcohol. This can be challenging but is also a chance to work through these feelings with a clear mind.
5. A Sense of Empowerment: As you begin to experience life without alcohol, many people report feeling a newfound sense of control and empowerment. Achieving milestones, no matter how small, can boost your confidence and reinforce your decision.

It’s About the Impact, Not the Quantity

Maybe your drinking doesn’t lead to blackouts or embarrassing episodes. Or maybe it does. Maybe it just leaves you feeling foggy and regretful the next day. Maybe you notice you’re not as present with your family, that you’re skipping workouts, or that your mental health is taking a hit. These are the subtle signs that your relationship with alcohol might not be as healthy as you’d like it to be.

I let my drinking get to the point where it took over. It progressed because I kept making excuses. I kept telling myself I wasn’t as bad as that person, that I still had things under control. But alcohol has a sneaky way of shifting the goalposts. What starts as a few glasses on the weekend can slowly, almost imperceptibly, become something more.

If You’re Asking the Question, You Already Know the Answer

If you’re here, reading this post, and asking yourself if you have a problem with alcohol, that’s already a sign. People who don’t have complicated relationships with alcohol don’t spend a lot of time wondering if they do. They don’t look for justifications or compare their drinking to others’. If you’re questioning your drinking, it’s likely because something inside you is already aware that alcohol is playing a more significant role in your life than you’re comfortable with.

So, don’t get caught up in comparing your drinking to mine or anyone else’s. You don’t have to be drinking a bottle of vodka in a day to have a problem. You don’t have to hit “rock bottom.” You don’t have to wait for things to get worse before you decide to make a change.

Take a Good, Hard Look

Taking a step back and looking at your relationship with alcohol isn’t about labeling yourself. It’s about being honest with yourself. Are you using alcohol to cope with stress? To numb emotions? Are you drinking out of habit rather than enjoyment? Do you find yourself planning your life around your drinking? These are the questions that matter far more than how much you’re drinking.

Conclusion: You Don’t Have to Drink Like Me to Choose Sobriety

Your journey with alcohol is your own. It doesn’t need to look like mine or anyone else’s. There’s no “enough” that you need to reach before deciding to quit or cut back. It’s not about comparing your story to someone else’s. It’s about recognizing how alcohol fits into your life and deciding if that’s okay with you. If it’s not, it’s perfectly okay to choose an alcohol-free life. Remember, you don’t have to hit rock bottom to want something better for yourself. Embrace sobriety on your terms and discover the empowerment that comes with living alcohol-free.