Sobriety can be one of the most rewarding but challenging journeys in life. Whether you’ve been sober for days, months, or even years, it’s natural to face moments of struggle. Asking for help during these difficult times is not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of strength and self-awareness. But knowing how to ask for help when you’re struggling with sobriety can feel overwhelming.

In this post, we’ll cover who to talk to, what to say, and tips for getting the support you need. Let’s dive into how to ask for help when staying alcohol-free feels harder than ever.

1. Recognize the Importance of Reaching Out

The first step in asking for help with your sobriety is acknowledging that you need support. Many people feel ashamed or afraid of being judged, but reaching out is critical. Sobriety is a journey best traveled with others by your side—whether they’re friends, family, support groups, or professionals. I spent year thinking that I could figure this out on my own and it wasn’t until I brought others in to support me that I was able to succeed

Remember, seeking help shows that you’re committed to your recovery. No one expects you to handle it all alone.

2. Know Who to Reach Out To

When struggling with sobriety, knowing who to talk to can be just as important as knowing what to say. Surround yourself with individuals who understand your journey and will provide the positive, non-judgmental support you need.

Here are some key people you can turn to for help:

• A Trusted Friend or Family Member: Choose someone who knows about your sobriety journey and has been supportive in the past. They don’t have to fully understand addiction, but they should be empathetic and willing to listen.
• Sober Mentor or Sponsor: If you’re part of a recovery program like AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), reaching out to your sponsor or sober mentor is a great option. They’ve been through what you’re experiencing and can offer advice or simply a listening ear.
• Professional Help (Therapist or Counselor): Sometimes, talking to a professional is the best way to work through your challenges. Addiction therapists are trained to help you develop coping mechanisms, manage cravings, and stay on track with your sobriety.
• Online Sobriety Groups and Communities: If you’re not ready to open up to someone in person, consider joining an online sobriety group. These spaces are often full of people who are in various stages of recovery and can offer encouragement and support without judgment. I personally am a part of the Lighthouse Sobriety Community – check it out here
• Local Support Groups: Look into in-person meetings such as AA, SMART Recovery, or other local groups. These provide a safe space to share your experiences with others who understand what you’re going through.

3. What to Say When Asking for Help

Asking for help can feel daunting, especially if you’re unsure how to start the conversation. The key is to be honest and direct about what you’re going through. You don’t have to have all the answers—you just need to be open.

Here are a few examples of what you might say depending on the situation:

• To a Friend or Family Member:
  • “I’ve been struggling with my sobriety lately, and I could really use someone to talk to.”
  • “I’ve had a tough week, and I’m worried I might relapse. Can we chat for a bit?”
  • “I need some support with staying sober, and I don’t know where to turn. Can you help me find someone to talk to?”
• To a Sponsor or Mentor:
  • “I’m really struggling with cravings and feel like I’m losing control. Can we talk about some strategies?”
  • “I’m feeling triggered lately and don’t want to risk a relapse. What do you recommend I do?”
• To a Therapist or Counselor:
  • “I’ve been sober for [X] months, but lately, I’ve been facing some challenges. Can we talk about ways to stay on track?”
  • “I’ve noticed some of my old habits creeping back, and I don’t want to relapse. Can you help me work through this?”

4. Tips for Asking for Help

It’s completely normal to feel nervous or unsure when reaching out for help. Here are some tips to make the process a little easier:

a) Be Honest and Open

Honesty is the foundation of recovery. Whether you’re talking to a loved one or a professional, be open about what you’re going through. If you’re struggling with cravings, feeling emotionally overwhelmed, or facing a specific trigger, say so. The more open you are, the more help you’ll receive.

b) Don’t Wait Until Things Get Worse

Many people wait until they’re on the verge of relapse before seeking help. It’s important to ask for support as soon as you start feeling off balance. Early intervention can prevent a small challenge from turning into a major setback.

c) Accept Help Without Judgment

When someone offers advice or a helping hand, try to accept it graciously—even if it’s not what you expected. Sometimes the solutions that feel the hardest to embrace are the most helpful in the long run.

d) Set Up a Support Network Early

Don’t wait until you’re struggling to create a support system. Build a network of friends, family, mentors, and professionals who can help you navigate the ups and downs of sobriety. Regularly checking in with your support network—even when things are going well—can help prevent crises before they start.

5. Final Thoughts

Struggling with sobriety is part of the journey for many people. The important thing to remember is that you’re not alone. Whether you reach out to a friend, sponsor, therapist, or online community, help is always available when you ask for it.

If you’re reading this because you’re struggling today, take the first step and reach out to someone you trust. You don’t have to do this alone. Support is just one conversation away.

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By opening up about your struggles and asking for help, you’re taking a huge step toward maintaining your sobriety. No matter where you are on your alcohol-free journey, remember that reaching out for support is a strength, not a weakness.

Read more: How to talk about it: Admitting you have a problem with alcohol for the first time